Karrine Steffans. Her name has become synonymous with slurs such as “Whore”, “Snitch”, and “Gold-Digger”. Today I am not going to condone or condemn her chosen lifestyle but to rather start a dialog on whether the old “Don’t Kiss and Tell” still holds true.
From a feminist perspective men have been kissing and telling for years. However there is a double standard here that once a woman does the same she is conducting herself in the most heinous manner possible, and is ridiculed by both her peers and the opposite sex. Is this fair? Well –rude awakening for the guys- women talk! We talk to one another, usually our most trusted friends –our sisters so to speak. But please believe that when there is an encounter that we deem as newsworthy it is most likely going to be shared in one form or another.
I do however understand the backlash that Diary of a Video Vixen caused. They were angry. They were angry that there secrets were out. That the private seedy lie they lead separate from their families was exposed. It was put in print, bound, and sold to millions nationwide. But my question is who is at fault her. My grandmother once said, like many other grandmothers in the black community have said, what is done in the dark comes to the light. So there is not escaping your past people. Once it is done it can not be undone. So why do we despise this woman, who was not married, who was unattached and free, for telling her story. For exposing her past and profiting from that we are completely shocked and appalled –yet her book sold MILLIONS of copies so despite how enraged we may be, we still bought into the machine.
Aside from Karrine there has been countless tell a books, describing sexual tryst and intimate encounters with numerous celebrities. However, these books stand out because they expose the dark under belly of Hip Hop. In the Black Community, there are few things one can be called that are worse than a single 6 letter word – Snitch. So in a way that is what she did according to the culture of hip-hop. But as a woman I can tell you I have had several guys profess their conquest over me, some accurate, some a complete and total fabrication – yet this is not considered snitching. Perhaps because I am a woman, perhaps because I do not hold a definite social standing in the community. However if the role was reversed I wonder what the outcome would be. Would there be an outcry if I slept with a married man and wrote a blog about it? Would I lose everything I stand for, or would I be like a man and poke my chest out and pat myself on the back for a job well done.
I’m curious what you all think about this topic. Share your comments below –the good, the bad, and the ugly.