Would You Kiss and Tell?

Karrine Steffans. Her name has become synonymous with slurs such as “Whore”, “Snitch”, and “Gold-Digger”. Today I am not going to condone or condemn her chosen lifestyle but to rather start a dialog on whether the old “Don’t Kiss and Tell” still holds true.
From a feminist perspective men have been kissing and telling for years. However there is a double standard here that once a woman does the same she is conducting herself in the most heinous manner possible, and is ridiculed by both her peers and the opposite sex. Is this fair? Well –rude awakening for the guys- women talk! We talk to one another, usually our most trusted friends –our sisters so to speak. But please believe that when there is an encounter that we deem as newsworthy it is most likely going to be shared in one form or another.
I do however understand the backlash that Diary of a Video Vixen caused. They were angry. They were angry that there secrets were out. That the private seedy lie they lead separate from their families was exposed. It was put in print, bound, and sold to millions nationwide. But my question is who is at fault her. My grandmother once said, like many other grandmothers in the black community have said, what is done in the dark comes to the light. So there is not escaping your past people. Once it is done it can not be undone. So why do we despise this woman, who was not married, who was unattached and free, for telling her story. For exposing her past and profiting from that we are completely shocked and appalled –yet her book sold MILLIONS of copies so despite how enraged we may be, we still bought into the machine.
Aside from Karrine there has been countless tell a books, describing sexual tryst and intimate encounters with numerous celebrities. However, these books stand out because they expose the dark under belly of Hip Hop. In the Black Community, there are few things one can be called that are worse than a single 6 letter word – Snitch. So in a way that is what she did according to the culture of hip-hop. But as a woman I can tell you I have had several guys profess their conquest over me, some accurate, some a complete and total fabrication – yet this is not considered snitching. Perhaps because I am a woman, perhaps because I do not hold a definite social standing in the community. However if the role was reversed I wonder what the outcome would be. Would there be an outcry if I slept with a married man and wrote a blog about it? Would I lose everything I stand for, or would I be like a man and poke my chest out and pat myself on the back for a job well done.
I’m curious what you all think about this topic. Share your comments below –the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Using Media to Inspire Romance

Keeping the fires burning in a relationship can be difficult. Sometimes what started out as a blazing inferno can all but fizzle out completely. As women it is our very nature to place others needs before our own. Passion Parties believes that every woman has an inner diva. We pride ourselves in teaching women tips, techniques, and tricks, through tastefully done home parties, to utilize in their own relationship to fully empower them in the bedroom.
When it comes to spicing it up in the bedroom inspiration can come in many forms. We get inspiration from books, such as the Passion Parties Guide to Great Sex, Complete Guide to Sexual Positions, or the widely popular Sadie Allison Books series. But we also gain inspiration from media- books, television shows, and movies.
True Blood is an amazing series on HBO. The love affair between Sookie and Bill is a powerfully passionate one. They have given us ideas on taking lovemaking out of the bedroom and pretty much doing it any and everywhere – I do not however recommend you bury your partner alive, have him claw his way out just so that you can make love in a cemetery though. Sookie and Bill have given us new positions to try as well. There is even a scene in Season 3 of the Character Eric and his new dancer involving restraints. This can be humanly done by use of the Love Swing!
Another HBO Show Hung- the story of a male prostitute can give you ideas to utilize on role reversal. Where the woman is in charge and the man has to do any and everything she says. How fun! It also brings to mention my absolute favorite type of role playing the Prostitute game. Basically you get dressed up for a night of “work” as a lady of the evening and your partner has to pick you up. Now to be safe please don’t stand out on the street corner as you may be mistaken for the real thing and be arrested.
One of my customers- we’ll just called her Susan, who lives in Orlando, FL sent me this note
- I get ideas from everywhere! Sometimes I’ll see something on TV and have to try it out! Like on Keeping up with the Kardashians – Khloe’s New husband Lamar was going to be on the road playing for the Lakers for a while a Khloe attempted to make him a hot little DVD to watch and think of her. That’s incredibly sexy!


Go out there and let inspiration hit you!